


Crashes and Darkness

by Sophia_Eclipse



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Angst, Anorexia (in later chapters), Anxiety, Arachnophobia, Atelphobia, Blood, Claustrophobia, Deceit Sanders Being An Asshole, Deceit is confusing and deceitful, Flashbacks, Horror, I’m mean to all of them, M/M, Many phobias, Morally Gray Deceit, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Roman is kind of oblivious, Spiders, Swearing, but not really, he gets better though, self deprecating thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-07-24 22:42:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia_Eclipse/pseuds/Sophia_Eclipse
Summary: When a fight causes Virgil to have a panic attack while Thomas is driving, the consequences are dire.Separated and deep in the unknown parts of the mindscape, the sides will fight to get back to each other and Thomas, no matter what. And they will have to face their own demons to get there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before we get started, there’s a lot of triggers throughout this fic! It’s very dark. Please practice self care, and don’t read if you may find it triggering for you!  
> TWs: Panic attacks, car crash, blood, gore, past abuse, graphic violence, implied/ referenced self harm, crying, amnesia, anorexia, swearing, arachnophobia, atelphobia, claustrophobia (this centers around phobias, so there’s many!)  
> I will try to put all warnings in chapters containing certain triggers, please tell me if I need to add more!

Chapter 1  
Virgil POV  
Roman and Virgil were arguing. Still. All Virgil was saying is that it would look bad if Thomas bought so much food from the store. Princey just had to make it escalate so quickly. As always.

“He needs to take care of himself!” Roman yelled angrily. Why don’t you understand that? Honestly it’s like you don’t even try to help.”

Virgil felt the tears welling up. This fighting was wearing him down. He always tried to help, just... differently. Why didn’t Roman see that? 

“Now that’s enough Roman.” Patton said, noticing Virgil’s expression. 

Virgil could tell that Patton was getting sick of all this arguing. They had argued the entire shopping trip and almost caused Thomas to have a panic attack in front of the cashier. He couldn’t afford to fight with Roman right now with Thomas on the road. 

“Is it Patton? If it’s enough why hasn’t Anxiety stopped making Thomas feel so terrible?” Roman turned to Virgil. “Can’t you contribute something GOOD for once?”

Roman turned away. He was oblivious to the amount of pain one sentence had caused.

Virgil ran, heading towards his room. He ignored Patton calling his name. He just made a mad dash and hid himself. 

“You’re worthless.”  
“No one wants you.”  
“Roman was right.”  
“You. Are. Nothing.” 

Virgil tried to block out the voices, but felt the attack coming on. He couldn’t break down while Thomas was driving. But that thought just made the stress worse. 

‘Oh god,’ Virgil thought. 

Roman burst through the door to the hyperventilating Virgil. 

“Virge, I’m so sorry. My temper got the better of me and...”

Roman saw what was happening and tried to calm Virgil down.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” he whispered, but Virgil couldn’t breathe. 

Thomas POV  
Thomas was pretty annoyed. Virgil and Roman just kept on arguing. They argued the entire time they were at the store, and they were still going at it. 

He rubbed his head. Those two were giving him a headache. He tried to ignore it and continued down the highway. 

Suddenly his vision blurred with tears.

‘Oh no,’ he thought, feeling an attack coming on. 

He couldn’t control it. He was drowning now. He couldn’t see, he could barely breathe. 

Someone appeared beside him, but he couldn’t see which side it was.

“Breathe Thomas. You must breathe.” Came Logan’s voice. 

“Can’t,” was all Thomas could choke out. 

Suddenly the car swerved out of control. Thomas had let go of the wheel and was curling in on himself. 

“THOMAS!” Logan tried to say, but it came out as a yell of panic as they flew into the barrier.


	2. Chapter 2

‘What’s going on? Where am I?’

The questions swirled around and around in their head, but they were far too disoriented to answer.

They waited a few minutes. 5 to be exact. It is not as if they could manage anything else.

When their thoughts became less muddled they remembered. 

But Logan still didn’t quite know where he was. Where were the others? Patton, Virgil, Roman, Thomas...

Wait... Thomas! Oh no, the crash. Perhaps that is what propelled Logan into this foreign environment. 

It was quite anomalous for him to find a part of the Mindscape that he wasn’t aware existed. It wasn’t atypical to find an area of Thomas’ mind Logan had not previously been, however one he had no knowledge of at all? That hasn’t happened in a long while.

But that was not the current priority. Where were Patton, Roman, and Virgil?

Flashback to the Crash

He and Patton were talking in the main area while Roman apologized to Virgil for their nonsensical bickering. Patton stopped conversating with Logan and began to breathe unevenly. Logan asked him what was wrong. 

“Check on Thomas,” Patton wheezed.

Logan sunk out and appeared next to Thomas, who he deduced was having a panic attack, most likely triggered by Virgil. 

Logan attempted to calm him, tell him to breath, but Thomas was hyperventilating. 

“THOMAS,” he tried to get his attention, get him to regain control, but he could only manage a strangled yell as they hurled into the barrier

Then he lost consciousness and awakened here in a disoriented state. Quite the enigma. Logan decided he must find the others. Anyone who could help decipher this dilemma. Even that lying snake would do. Well, preferably not him. 

He attempted sinking out. It seemed the logical choice. It did not work. He remained calm, and went to the next logical step. 

He looked around at the room. It was tiny, with roughly three steps of walking space in any direction. Logan appeared to be in the direct center of the room. The walls looked to be obsidian and there was no visible door. Was he trapped in this unfamiliar place? 

Logan was not accustom to feelings of panic or claustrophobia (that was more Virgil’s department), or but he felt those unsavory emotions start to set in. 

And he wondered, not for the first time, and definitely not the last where he could possibly be.


	3. Chapter 3

Patton POV (rewind to right before the accident)  
Patton was not feeling his happy self. Virgil’s panic attacks usually got to Thomas in some way, and Patton, basically being Thomas’ heart, often got the aftershocks. 

Usually Virgil’s panic attacks didn’t affect him very much, if at all, so this must be a bad one. Patton was alone and unable to calm down.

Patton was lucky in that he could still see, breathe, and think, it was just unfocused. Virgil probably wasn’t doing as well. 

Patton resisted the urge to run to his dark strange son and help him. He wouldn’t be much help in this state. Plus Virgil would blame himself and then it would be worse for both of them.

The attack intensified. Clearly it was dealing quite a blow to Thomas, and consequently, Patton. 

‘Consequently?’ Patton thought. ‘Hanging with Logan must really be getting to me.’

Suddenly the world shook. The entire Mindscape was shaking like an earthquake. Patton heard glass smash and wood splinter. The world lurched to the side. He barely managed to catch his glasses as they flew off his face. 

Patton screamed. And everything went black. 

Patton POV  
Patton woke up with his glasses clenched in his hand, and his vision blurry. 

He looked around. There really wasn’t much to see. The walls were pitch black stone, and he saw a small door that was roughly carved in a slightly different color of stone.

The room gave him an uneasy feeling, but so did the door. He knew he couldn’t stay in this unsettling room. 

He rose unsteadily, but powered by fear, dashed to the door. He tried the handle. It was locked. 

Maybe it was a good thing. Something about that door made his hair stand on end. 

But then he realized. He was stuck. Alone in a room that he knew nothing about. And he had no idea where his family was. That was more terrifying than any other thought for Patton. What kind of father didn’t know where his family was?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW’s: panic attack

Roman POV  
Roman awoke in a distasteful (if you were to ask him) wooden room. But he could not, for the life of him, remember how he got there.

He did, however, remember the events leading up to his loss of consciousness.

(Flashback to before the crash)

He tried to comfort Virgil to no avail. Virgil was gasping for air. Roman felt so guilty.

But then the room began to shake and tremble. Virgil’s belongings crashed to the ground, and there was the banging of his dressers and the door being torn open and closed. 

“Virgil!” He cried. “Virgil are you okay?” 

Virgil was shaking and thrashing. His body was thrown around in the chaos. 

Roman fell, unable to keep his balance. He hit the ground hard, and passed out. 

(Back to the present)

Roman remembered this with extreme discomfort. He didn’t know what had happened and he couldn’t stop it. He was ashamed of his shortcoming. 

He pulled himself together. What was done was done. He must figure out where he was and get back to the others. 

He looked around the room. The wood paneling was uneven and unappealing. There was no furniture or any sign of anything except him in the room. 

He spotted a small door, just big enough for him to fit through if he ducked. He walked up to it. 

Suddenly the hair at the back of his neck stood on end. He felt a cold presence. He didn’t think he was alone anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The snake emerges- sorry if his speaking in lies is confusing

Chapter 5  
Virgil POV   
Virgil woke up lightheaded and sore in a room that wasn’t his room or Patton’s. Major red flag. Patton’s room was the only other place he’d spend the night in, either for sleepovers or when he had a nightmare. 

Virgil tried to sink out, only to realize he couldn’t sink out either. That was even worse.

Where was he? The walls were a deep green color, and the only furniture was a four poster bed with canary yellow sheets.

This room was the last place he would ever want to be. Especially not wake up in with no recollection of getting here. He couldn’t believe he was here. 

But there were more important things to be worried about. Now that he was thinking about it how did he get here? The last he remembered he was having a panic attack and Roman had burst into his room. And Virgil couldn’t breathe. 

Virgil hadn’t been able to suck in more than shallow gasps, and he was panicking really bad. Then the room had begun to shake. Roman had tried to call something to him, but he couldn’t hear. He was shaking and writhing along with the room from lack of oxygen and control. And then he had passed out. 

And woke up here. 

That didn’t make sense. His panic attacks weren’t ever this bad. It was like the whole room had been shaking with him. He had bad panic attacks before, but always woke up in his room, and occasionally Patton’s, usually with Patton watching over him.

But this time Thomas had been driving. Had his panic attack made something bad happen to Thomas and the others? Was this all his fault?

He hated that thought, hated the guilt that came with it. Where were the others? Maybe they could help him sort this out. 

He decided he should get out of here and find out how to get back to Thomas or the main area. He saw the door and made his way to it. It was locked. It had a keyhole, and Virgil didn’t have the key. 

‘Oh no.’ He thought. ‘This is bad.’

“What the hell are you doing in my room?” A voice hissed. 

‘Well I guess it was inevitable,’ Virgil thought. 

“It’s not like I wanted to be here. If it were my choice I’d never come into your room again you snake.” He said angrily. 

“Now Virgil that’s a way to talk to me,” Deceit said. Virgil knew he really meant ‘that’s no way to talk to me,’ He was clearly enjoying getting under Virgil’s skin. It was frustrating for him, always having to twist around Deceits words to figure out what he was saying. 

“Let me out.”

“Why would I do that? I don’t have questions that I want you to answer.”

Virgil hid his flinch. He hated Deceit. He knew that Deceit couldn’t be trusted. It was in his name. 

“Fine,” he said as calmly as he could. He couldn’t hide how his fists clenched, though. “Ask me your questions so I can get out of here.”

“Well let’s see... how about we don’t start with why NOTHING WAS SHAKING! And how you didn’t end up here, despite me locking the door.”

“Princey and I were fighting while Thomas was driving and I had a panic attack. I think Thomas got the panic attack as well and he... he probably got hurt,” Virgil’s last words were barely a whisper. 

“I blacked out while my room was shaking and woke up here.”

“So basically it’s not your fault,” Deceit deadpanned sarcastically. “How surprising. My last question is why can I sink out? Is that not your fault too?”

“Wait you can’t sink out either? I don’t know why we can’t do that. I thought it might be a protection you have on your room.”

“Yeah, and what a useful protection too. What’s better than taking away my own easiest escape?” Deceit asked, voice dripping with venom. 

As Deceit got closer and closer Virgil couldn’t help but back away. Deceit saw that and stopped moving, but not before smirking at him. 

“You did answer my questions,” Deceit said. “But I don’t need to figure out what the hell is going on. So I’m not going to let you go anyway, but I’m not coming too.”

‘Shit,’ thought Virgil. At least he could get out of this god forsaken room. Maybe he could find a way to shake Deceit. 

“Fine. Just get me out of here,” Virgil said. 

“My pleasure.”

And Deceit unlocked the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start getting creepy...  
> TW: This chapter contains spiders and arachnophobia!

Chapter 6  
Patton POV  
He had been sitting in the room for a while. There was nothing to do. He sat in his own misery and fear. He was a terrible father. He was trapped. Alone. Afraid. Confused. 

He heard something hit the stone ground with the scratch of tiny legs against the tile. He looked back and saw a tarantula. 

‘Oh god. I hate spiders. I HATE SPIDERS!’ he thought.

‘Maybe if I stay still it will go away.’ 

How did it even get in here in the first place? He had been facing the door, and it hadn’t come through that.

Suddenly there came more scratching. And more, and more. The sound filled the room. Patton was terrified to look back, but he forced himself. 

There was a huge swarm of spiders behind him. They were a writhing mass. What color was left in his face drained away. 

The swarm started scrambling towards him. He screamed. He dashed to the door. He had to make it to the door. 

In the mad rush he’d forgotten it was locked. He pushed against in with all his strength. He yanked the handle as hard as he could. His panicked adrenaline rush aided him, and the door gave way. 

He stumbled into the new black room. It was identical to the old one. He turned and slammed the door shut. Fortunately there was no space between the door and the ground for the spiders to sneak through. 

He was relieved. He kept his eyes closed, trying to make his breathing even. He opened his eyes and looked up. 

He barely managed to choke back the second scream building in his throat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some Logan angst.   
> Tw. This chapter contains claustrophobia and extremely confined spaces.

Logan POV  
Logan sat in the obsidian room going through the breathing exercises that were taught to him by Joan and Talyn. 

He was extremely uncomfortable in his present situation. The logical side was trapped in a confined room with no apparent way of escape. 

Once sufficiently calm, he began to feel the walls, searching for any inconsistencies that could point to a hidden door. 

It didn’t take much effort to get from wall to wall. The room was so small it didn’t take long to search the entirety of it. As Logan continued combing the room he ran his hand across a small ridge in the wall. 

The inconsistency was extremely thin and blended neatly in with the wall. It was barely noticeable. He left one hand there and continued checking for another ridge. 

He found one running parallel to the previous crack, they looked tall enough to be a door. 

Logan tried to figure out how to open it. He pushed on it slightly, searched for a groove that might be a handle. 

After searching for a while he decided to check the other walls. There might be a mechanism to open the door with hidden elsewhere. 

But as Logan turned around he realized that the walls seem to be even closer than before. He writes off the thought, it wasn’t possible. 

He started searching the wall opposite of the door. When Logan finished he turned around to see that the walls had shrunk even more. 

He knew he couldn’t just be imagining this. The already tiny room was closing in on him. 

Logan’s breath stuttered. He could be crushed by the walls, a lethal injury in an unknown part of the mind. If he died they’d never find his body. The mind was much too big for that. 

They didn’t actually know what happens if the sides were to die from injury. There’s such a thing as fading- an unneeded side, one whose trait is there to the absolute minimum could fade. Meaning they would disappear entirely from existence. 

But physical injury- that was a different topic. Sides get sick just like normal humans, and injured as well. But deadly injuries- none of them had the slightest idea of how that would effect them. They might just pop back up... or they could leave entirely and leave Thomas without that facet of his personality. 

Propelled by that fear he started to bang on the door with all his might. Logan heaved against it hoping it would open. He scratched and scraped and pounded until his hands were sore and bloody. 

The room was so closed in that Logan could barely move. The walls were pushing up against him. 

He lost all control. His breath became shallow and he began to hyperventilate. He started screaming, hoping someone would be nearby, even though he knew that it was virtually impossible. 

Logan’s screams slowly dissolved into gasps as his vision went blurry. He was sobbing and dizzy and afraid. He didn’t even know how terrified he was of enclosed spaces until now. Each of them had their phobias he supposed. 

The logical side curled in on himself, as the walls squeezed tightly around him. His head began buzzing and it was like he was floating. Logan couldn’t tell what was happening anymore. He just stayed where he was, sobbing into his knees, which were curled against his head and pushing up against his glasses. 

Logan squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to stop the flow of tears, trying to stop the shaking, trying to stop the pressure on him, trying to stop everything, trying to STOP. 

The obsidian room was now so small it’s rough walls were pressing against Logan on all sides. 

Logan felt himself slump, and- again-everything went black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is extremely short and I kind of hate it, but I’m about to get really busy, and I wanted to get out a few extra chapters first.  
> TW: Thus chapter contains blood and a small burn!

Roman POV  
Roman felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. He slowly turned, knowing he would probably find something- or someone unsavory there. 

Facing the wall, he slapped a hand over his mouth. 

It was blood. 

So much blood. 

Roman gagged at the sight. The blood was dripping down the wall. It was thick and bubbly, and it was dripping slowly. 

He stood there, transfixed by the sight. It was disgusting, but oddly fascinating. He took a few steps away from the door, in a trance. 

The blood started picking up the pace of its drip, and suddenly it was pouring. Roman came to his senses only to realize he had backtracked to the center of the room. 

The blood was surging down the wall now. It was pooling in the floor in thick puddles. Roman backed away. It was spreading, and he could heat sizzling like it was boiling, and saw steam rising off of it. His eyes widened. 

He started to sprint toward the door. The blood filled half the room now. Roman was nearing the door. 

As the sticky substance kept flowing, it splashed up. He was far enough away that it just barely splashed him, only a few drops hit his skin. He gasped as he felt the boiling substance. It burned where it touched. 

He ignored it and kept running. He got to the door. He grasped the handle. Thanks fully it was unlocked. He stumbled into the next room and slammed the door behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry for not updating for so long! I’ve been struggling hard with lack of motivation and writers block, but I got past it, and forced myself to write something down. Be warned! This chapter is extremely intense. Read with caution!  
> TW’s: Blood, gore, hallucinations (kind of), knives, stab wounds, implied death.

Patton POV  
Patton fought to choke back his scream. In this room there was yet another writhing black mass. 

This one, however wasn’t spiders. It’s just looked like shadows, but more fluid. It was like tar, but less thick and sticky. He couldn’t quite describe it. 

It was attached to the wall opposite him, swirling in a black cloud. It churned, causing Patton’s stomach to do the same. It looked so disturbing. 

He stood frozen, staring at the shadow like mass. The moral side felt almost... mesmerized by it. 

Suddenly, the mass flew toward him. He let out the scream he’d been holding in and jumped backwards. He was to late, the shadowy substance flew around him like a hurricane. 

He heard a voice in the blackness. It sounded familiar but it was too faint to really hear. The darkness around him grew so pitch back he couldn’t see anything at all. 

Suddenly the blackness turned into a gray mist. Patton saw a figure emerge. Roman. His head was bowed, his finger hunched over. 

Patton tried to run to him but was held back by something. It was almost as if he was in a clear box, he could only move about an inch in each direction. Roman looked up, and Patton gasped. 

His face was cut a bloody, and he was missing an eye. As he emerged further, Patton saw a huge stab wound in his stomach. 

He could only watch as the crimson blood spread across the once white shirt. It would be beautiful if it wasn’t so horrifying. 

Blood dripped slowly down from the creatives side face, looking almost like crimson tears. Patton has tears of his own streaming down his face. 

“Where...where were you?” He heard Roman rasp. “You could’ve saved us... Why didn’t you save us? Why didn’t you save me!?”

Patton couldn’t speak. He opened his mouth, but no words came out, no matter how much he tried to force them to. 

“Patton please... please help me!” Roman cried. He was getting closer. “Patton! Patton help!” At this point Roman was screaming hysterically, nearly reaching Patton. The mist swirled closer as well, right at Roman’s back. 

“Patton,” He whispered. 

Patton heard something rustle. Roman looked down with wide eyes- well eye- at something hidden from Patton by the mist. 

Roman looked up, his fearful eye meeting Patton’s. And then, with no warning he flew backwards, into the mist. Patton heard a scream, but it was swiftly cut off. 

Patton stood there, numb. He couldn’t even register the tears on his face, or the blood from his fingernails biting into the palm of his hands. 

The mist continued to grow closer to where Patton stood, until he was enveloped by it. Patton was back in the blackness. 

Once again the image before his eyes changed. This time he was with Virgil. The side was scrolling though Tumblr. He saw a post and started laughing. Acting like nothing had happened. Where was Roman? Was he really... dead? 

Patton realized he was standing in the hall. He decided to figure out what was going on. He stepped into the room. 

Virgil looked up at the sound. His smirk melted into an expression of extreme hatred. Patton was taken aback. Virgil has never looked at him like that, even before they were close. 

“What are you doing here!” Virgil snarled. 

“W-What?” Patton asked. What was wrong with Virgil?

“I said What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing. Here!” Virgil yelled. 

“I-I...” Paton trailed off. “I didn’t... I wanted to know where Roman was?” He said in a small voice. 

“Why do you care! Leave me the hell alone! Go fuck yourself Morality! No one loves you! I don’t give a fuck about you! You never have and never will do anything right. Go the hell away and never come back. Kill yourself for all I care. No one wants you here anyways.” Virgil said. 

Patton was shocked. What could he have done? Maybe... maybe Virgil has always felt this way. Maybe he’d grown tired of pretending he could stand him. Patton couldn’t even stand himself, why should he expect Virgil to?

He spun on his heel, running back into the dark hallway, hoping Virgil wouldn’t see the hot tears running down his face. 

Patton was once again consumed by darkness. He felt emotionally exhausted. He couldn’t take this. Roman was dead. Virge hated him. He didn’t even know where Logan was. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to know where Deceit was. He collapsed to his knees in tears. 

He wiped his tears to see a new image forming. It was Logan’s room. He stood up, and saw Logan staring at him blankly. 

“H-hey Lo,” Patton said, hoping and praying Logan didn’t hate him. 

“Hello. Are you a new side?”

“W-What do you mean Logan? It’s me! Patton!” He said, confused. 

“I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of a Patton. And I have an exceedingly good memory, so I highly doubt I’ve forgotten about you. What do you represent?”

“Morality,” Patton said, almost pleading. 

“Yes, I have definitely never met you before. My apologies if you thought I had.”

“B-but, Logan! You have met me! We were best friends! Family even! How could you not remember me?!? We were there together just before Thomas crashed!”

Logan’s blank expression turned to bewilderment. 

“I have no idea who you are. We most certainly are not ‘family.’” Logan accentuated the word family with air quotes. “And Thomas has never been in a car crash. You should probably rest, you are clearly unwell. And I have important work to do, which very much does not involve you.”

Logan spoke with such a cold voice it felt like ice shards in Patton’s heart. He had to get him to understand, to remember. Or everyone would have left him. All except Deceit, but Deceit never liked him in he first place. 

“Logan, please remember!” He cried, tears brimming in his eyes. “The movie nights when I would make popcorn, the early mornings when we would have tea or coffee because the other two would always sleep in, so we could just sit there and talk. The puzzles we did when you needed a break, and I needed something to do and someone to just hang out with! Logan you, Roman, and Virgil are my best friends, my family! Please, please, remember!”

“I’m going to ask you one more time. Leave. I don’t know you, and based on this interaction I don’t want to either.” Logan said cooly. 

Patton turned around, defeated, alone. He opened the door to leave. 

Back in the darkness once more, Patton wondered who he’d meet next. Deceit was the only side Patton really knew that was still left unaccounted for. 

Patton opened his eyes in a room that had green walls, yellow bedding, and little furniture. He wasn’t surprised. 

“Patton?” Came a slightly surprised voice. 

“Deceit?” Patton said back. 

Deceit was sitting at a desk near his bed. He stood up and walked over. 

“What aren’t you doing here? You should be with the dark sides, not the light sides.”

“I’m... not quite sure how I got here. And as for being with the light sides... Logan didn’t seem to remember me, Virgil hates me, and Roman... I don’t know what happened to Roman.”

“Ah. Well, I suppose you can’t stay here for a while if it’s unnecessary.” Deceit said, shifting a bit. 

“Thanks.”

Normally Patton would be suspicious of this nice behavior from Deceit, but he was just glad someone didn’t 100% hate him at this point. 

Deceit sat down on the bed and beckoned him towards it. Patton sat down next to him. 

“Do you not want to talk about it? You have to if you don’t want to.” Deceit asked. 

“I don’t want to, but thanks. I never realized you were... this nice. I should’ve thought to spend more time with you before now,” Patton said. 

“Oh shouldn’t you have?” Deceit said. His eyes had taken on a devious glint that made Patton a tad but uncomfortable. 

“I suppose so,” Patton replied. 

“Oh Patton. You sad little thing. You always weren’t so gullible.” Deceit said, laughing. 

Patton got up, but so did Deceit. Patton tried to back away, but found his back to the wall. Deceit stood in front of him, blocking all escape. 

Patton saw the glint if metal as Deceit pulled out a knife. He held the knife to Patton’s throat. Patton let out an involuntary whimper. 

“I’m not going to kill you, Patton. And after that, I’m not going to kill you friends. Well, I think you can really call them friends anymore.” Deceit laughed.

Patton winced. He knew Deceit was going to kill him. He hoped his friends would be okay... well, like Deceit said, he wasn’t sure if he could call them friends anymore. They clearly didn’t like him at all. But he still hoped they’d be okay. 

Deceit pulled back. Patton could feel tiny beads of blood forming and slipping slowly down his neck. 

Suddenly Deceit plunged the knife into Patton’s stomach. Patton screamed from shock and fear. For a moment he was so shocked he felt nothing, but the moment felt all too short. The crippling pain rushed in, and Patton crumpled to the floor. 

He clutched at his wound staining his hands with crimson blood. He’d seen too much blood. Too much hate. Too much for one day. Too much for a lifetime.

His vision began to blur. He heard his a distant voice saying something. He wondered what the afterlife carried. Is there even an afterlife for sides?

He heard the voice again. It sounded like Roman. Wishful thinking. 

He knew Roman was dead he’d seen it. Seen the beautiful, confident, perfect star mauled and weak. Defeated. Just like him. 

“Patton!” The voice yelled. 

Patton felt himself get slapped across he face. 

And he woke up.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TWs: graphic violence, hatred, name calling, sword, blood

Roman POV  
Roman barreled into the next room. The walls around him looked like mirrors. The glass however didn’t reflect him, just a grayish void. 

He thought this room must not be all that bad. He figured this was far better than the boiling blood. Which reminded him...

Roman looked down to see a burn that snakes up his lower leg. It was an angry red and hurt like hell. He wished he hadn’t looked at it. In the rush and the shock he’d forgotten about the pain. It was back now, tenfold. 

There was no helping it he supposed. After a moments hesitation he tore off part of his shirt and wrapped it loosely around his leg. Hopefully that would let it blister, and if not at least he wouldn’t have to look at it. 

He continued to inspect the room from where he was standing. It appeared to be more of a hallway. The ‘mirrors’ stretched out of sight, covering the entire wall all the way down. 

Roman didn’t like how calm it was. It somehow made him more on edge than ever, because he felt like something was going to happen. But he was grateful for the moment of peace he had. 

The creative trait scanned down the hall again, and, again, saw no signs of danger. He decided he could start down the hall. He prepared himself for danger. 

Roman began walking, well, more like limping, down the middle of the hall. He stuck to the middle, because he didn’t fully trust the ‘mirrors.’ He was wary them, because of the lack of anything behind them or any reflections. 

Out of nowhere he heard something. It sounded like a soft tapping. 

Roman whirled around. There was no one behind him. He turned in a full circle slowly, checking every possible place some one could be. The hallway was too open to hide. It was possible that someone was in front of him, where the mirrors stretched out of sight. 

Roman decided he should keep going. He kept his guard up in case someone was in fact ahead of him. 

His pace was fairly slow, but even without his slight limp he would’ve gone slow in order to be sure if his surroundings. 

After a minutes or so he heard the tapping again. Once again he whirled around, checking his surroundings. There was nothing there. 

He checked behind him one more, before deciding to keep going once again. He turned around to see a figure in the mirror. It was too foggy to make out. Then the vision began to clear. 

In the mirror, an image of Logan appeared. 

“Logan!” Roman shouted. “Logan are you okay? Do you know where the others are? Virgil? Thomas? Patton? Hell, even Deceit! And do you have any idea what the hell is happening in this place!? I swear it’s trying to kill me!”

Logan didn’t respond. He was staring at Roman with an odd look on his face. He looked... angry. Very angry. 

“L-Logan?” Roman asked. 

“Roman.” Logan spat with hate. “This is all your fault. I hope this place does kill you. Your little screw up and your pride trapped us here. You can’t shut your mouth for one second.”

“W-W-What do you mean?” Roman stuttered. What was up with Logan?

“Isn’t it obvious?” A voice from behind Roman asked. The creative trait spun around to see Virgil in the mirror behind him. “We hate you. Everyone hates you. Is that really so hard for you to grasp?”

“Well he’s always been the smartest side,” a silky voice interjected. 

Roman didn’t have to look to know it was Deceit. Which meant he was being called stupid. 

“Agreed,” Logan said. 

Roman fixed his eyes on the ground. Was this truly how they felt about him? He had always had his doubts, but... it was so hard to hear. 

“Can’t even look at us? That’s just sad,” Virgil said venomously. 

“Pathetic,” Logan agreed. 

Roman looked up, trying to stop the tears pooling in his eyes. His spoke past the lump in his throat. 

“W-Why do you h-hate me so much?”

“Oh you sad, gullible side. Why would we hate you? What isn’t there to love? The rudeness? The idiocy? The ugliness?” Deceit hissed. 

Roman flinched at the harsh words. He always knew that he wasn’t lovable. But... he never realized just show much everyone hated him. 

Roman decided that he had to leave here. He had to get out. He couldn’t stay. He knew that meant ditching his friends, but they don’t want him anyway. 

He started sprinting down the hall, his burn forgotten. He just had to get away. He heard the sides yelling at him as he ran away. 

“Idiot,”  
“Coward,”  
“Mistake,”  
“Failure,”  
“Unloved,”  
“Ugly,”  
“Revolting,”  
“Gullible,”  
“Hated,”

He did his best to ignore the taunts. He reached a turn that went left. It left a large expanse of mirror in front of him. Apparently the hallway wasn’t a straight shot to the door. 

“Roman?” A voice said. Roman looked up to see Patton standing in front of him in the mirror. 

“Patton?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Where are the others?” Patton asked. 

“They’re down there,” Roman said, jerking his thumb at the hall behind him. “In the mirrors, like you.”

“Okay,” Patton said. “Why were you running to get here?” 

“Wait... you weren’t here when that happened.”

“Roman, I’m stuck in a mirror. I appear when I choose to. I chose to appear when I saw you,” Patton explained. 

“Okay. Wait, if your stuck, how do I get you out?” Roman asked.

“I think you’re going to have to break it.”

“The mirror? But wouldn’t that hurt you too?” Roman asked. 

“Probably not. It’s okay, just go ahead on and try it. I’ll be fine,” Patton replied. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you, you’re too important to me.”

“Roman it’s okay. And if it doesn’t work... just know I love you.”

Those words made Roman’s heart swell. Someone did love him. He didn’t know if Patton meant as friends or as more than that, but he decided not to dwell on it. He could ask him later. Right now it just felt good to have someone not hate him. 

“Okay. Okay, let’s do this,” Roman said. 

He summoned his sword (thank god he retained that power) and slammed in against the glass. 

An inky, black substance flowed out of the mirror, accompanied by a thick fog. For a moment Roman thought it hadn’t worked. Patton wasn’t there. What if... what if he had killed Patton?

But then Roman saw the moral side emerge from the fog. He let out a breath. Patton walked over to him, a big smile on his face. 

“Hey, kiddo!”

“Hey Pat,” Roman said, happily. For a moment he forgot how much everyone hated him. Because at least he had Patton. 

Patton pulled him into a hug. Roman wrapped his arms around the other side too. He felt at peace for a moment. 

Then he heard Patton start laughing. Not his usual, cheerful giggle. No, this laugh felt... sinister. Malicious even. 

Roman pulled away and looked up. Patton stood there with a look of sinister satisfaction on his face. 

“P-Patton?” Roman asked. 

“Wow Roman. You really are gullible. You seriously thought I could love something as vile as you?” Patton asked with a disgusted look. 

Before Roman could respond, Patton pushed him into the mirror behind him. Roman tried to struggle, but Patton was pinning him down. Patton grabbed him by the throat, lifting him up slightly. 

Roman was choking, gasping for air. His back hurt and his lungs burned. His legs kicked, and he struggled to get free. How could Patton so this? How could Patton hate him so much?

How could Patton lie to him? Patton wouldn’t ever do that. Would he? No, that’s not like Patton at all. This isn’t like Patton at all. This isn’t Patton. 

As soon as the realization hit him, Roman knew it was the truth. This isn’t Patton.

“Patton” was still strangling him though, so the realization wasn’t actually doing him any good. 

Then he realized he still had a grip on his sword. He had forgotten, as he’d never use it on Patton. But knowing this wasn’t any friend of his (he doubted even Deceit would do something like this), he knew what he had to do. He also knew he had to do it fast, before the lack of oxygen stole all strength. 

He tightened his grip on his sword and swung it. It’s sliced right through flesh and bone. Right through “Patton’s” wrist. 

Roman fell to the ground, the fake Patton’s hand landing right next to him. He looked up and saw “Patton” staring at the bloody stump where his hand was in horror. Blood was flowing from it in what seemed like a river to Roman. There was so much of it. 

But he couldn’t stop now. He quickly jumped up, grabbed his sword, and ran down the hallway. He looked back once, but the fake moral side wasn’t following him. He was still sat on the ground, staring in shock as the blood gushed out from the arm. 

Roman winced at He damage he had caused. He knew it wasn’t the real Patton, but it still looked like him. He knew that image would haunt him forever.

But he didn’t have time to think about it now. He continued sprinting, once again doing his best to ignore the pain in his leg. He encountered a couple more turns before finding a door. 

He turned the handle and stepped into a new room. He immediately saw an inky black substance, just like the one that cane out of the mirror. But this was swirling in a massive cloud. He could barely make it out, but lying within the cloud seemed to be a figure. 

Roman was scared, but he was a prince. He had to save whoever this was!

So without a second thought, he dived into the hurricane of darkness. The second he got in he felt a stabbing pain in his stomach. He nearly fell from the shock and pain. It was so strange. 

He ignored this, and the pain in his leg once again. He got to the person inside, only to see that it was Patton! The real one this time! 

But he seemed to be out cold. Roman tried shaking him, but he wouldn’t wake. 

“Patton?” He called. “Patton?”

Patton gasped and shook, but didn’t wake. His entire body was trembling. Roman has no idea what was wrong with the moral side. 

“PATTON!” He yelled.

And Patton woke up.


	11. Not a chapter, sorry

Hi to anyone who’s been following this book. I’m sorry I haven’t posted in so long. I’m kind of thinking about discontinuing this story. I really don’t have the time or motivation to keep it going. I want to, but I just can’t get chapters out, and when I do I’m never quite sure if I like them and they don’t get edited well. I probably should have finished writing it then started posting. Anyway, long story short, I ran out of prewritten chapters and everything I have is garbage. So if I continue this is kind of in the air. If anyone wants me to continue or has any thoughts, feel free to leave a comment!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It’s been a while. I’m so sorry this took so long. It’s been months since I’ve updated, and I’m not going to lie, I nearly forgot about this story. But I’m back a ready to write again!  
> In other news, this book is probably going to also be put on Wattpad under the name “Phobia”  
> Thanks for being patient with me, and enjoy the chapter!  
> TW’s: Swearing and Deceit being an ass

Chapter 11  
Virgil POV  
Virgil walked down the hallway with Deceit. He made sure to keep an eye on the snake at his side, cautious of him. Virgil knew he wasn’t the most trusting of people, but could he be blamed? He was Anxiety after all.

Deceit kept his eyes ahead of him most of the time, but Virgil didn’t miss the glances of curiosity Deceit occasionally threw his way when he thought Virgil wasn’t looking. 

They kept a brisk pace, heading to god-knows-where, simply walking along. They turned a couple corners, heading into completely unfamiliar territory. The winding halls of the mind palace were a mystery to them all. Logan has scoped out as much of it as he could, but even he hadn’t gotten far. 

Virgil soon grew tired of all this walking with no known destination. He wanted to know where the hell Deceit was heading off to. He stopped walking. 

“Where are we going Deceit?” he asked. 

“What does it matter?” Deceit snapped. “Why do you need to know? We don’t have a destination that I can explain to you.”

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t explain it to me? Do we even have a destination?”

“Yes, we have a destination Virgil.” Deceit said, with a roll of his eyes. Virgil almost told him that his given name was reserved for those he trusted, but decided not to waste the breath or energy. 

Deceit continued walking, making a few more turns. Virgil sighed, following. He knew this wouldn’t end well, but it was better than being completely on his own he supposed. 

Deceit stopped suddenly, knocking on a door. No one responded, and the door remained firmly shut. He knocked again. Once again, no one responded. 

“Goddamn it,” Deceit muttered. “I know you’re in there, answer the fucking door!” he yelled. 

Virgin had no clue who Deceit was yelling at. He already felt bad for them. 

“Gurl, chiiiill, I’m coming,”

And Virgil realized who it was. He had no clue that his room was here. 

The lock on the door clicked and handle turned. Remy walked out with a coffee cup in hand. 

“Oh, hey Virge, sup gurl!” He said in his overly loud and boisterous voice. Virgil flinched a bit. 

“Hey Remy,” he murmured. 

“Remy, did you not notice the entire mindscape going to shit!?” Deceit said in shock and exasperation. 

“What do ya mean De? I was partying so hard, I don’t know whatcha mean! What did I miss?” Remy exclaimed

“Well, “Virge” here has a panic attack and drove Thomas off the road. And now all the light sides are missing.”

“Oh shit.” Remy said, seeming serious for once. 

“Yeah.” Virgil said quietly. 

Remy looked at him, with sadness in his eyes. 

“Girl, this is not your fault, k? Things like this happen, although this is a bit.... er... extreme.” 

“Thanks,” Virgil said with a weak smile. 

Deceit heaved an exaggerated sigh. 

“We need to get going if we ever want to find everyone. Are you two coming or not?” he said. 

“Yeah yeah yeah, let’s go ladies.” Remy replied. 

And they were off.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A semi-long chapter and a quick update? Now that’s what I call a once in a lifetime opportunity •.•  
> Tw’s: (All Triggers in this chapter are callbacks to prior chapters) Stab wound mention, blood mention, gore mention, hatred

Chapter 12  
Logan POV  
Logan awoke laying down in a large room with wooden walls and floor. It appeared to be oak wood paneling. He immediately wondered how he could have possibly gotten there. 

Logan (with some embarrassment) recalled his mental breakdown in the last room. This called to mind another, much more pressing, point. How had he gotten here? Or to the last room for that matter?

And where were the others?

Logan decided the only way to go about puzzling this enigma out was to think through what he knew. The trouble was, not much he knew could help. 

He knew that Thomas had gotten into a car crash, and he woke up in a horrid room (most likely buried deep within the subconscious), and then was almost killed. He proceeded to lose consciousness and then woke up in a new room. 

‘Helpful,’ Logan sarcastically thought to himself. 

Logan pulled himself up into an upright position, and stood up. He checked all the walls for loose panels, or a door. The paneling was highly convenient for hiding a door. 

Logan had no luck with the walls. The wood was completely even. There were no out of place grooves, and none of the planks came up. He decided to move on. 

Similarly to the last one, there was no furniture in this room. Logan walked along the middle of the room, looking at the walls and ceiling to make sure nothing had been missed in his search. 

Suddenly, Logan felt his foot painfully connect with something. He gave out a little yelp, jumping in pain. Then he realized. His foot connected with something! It somehow hadn’t occurred to him to check for trap doors in the floor. 

Logan looked down, and barely managed to make out a thin piece of metal wedged into the floor. It was positioned so it would be near impossible to see from most angles. 

Logan knelt down, firmly grabbing the piece of metal. He pulled it upwards. At first the door didn’t move. Logan doubles down and pulled harder. The door slowly came up, revealing a staircase. The stairs were made up of worn, and slightly slimy, grey stone. 

Logan looked down at the gaping hole in the floor. The stone looked firm enough, if a bit slippery. Good enough to walk on so long as he was careful about it. 

Logan took a deep breath, and stepped onto the first step. 

•.• -.- •.•  
Patton POV  
(An: Two different POV’s in one chapter, yeet yeet bitches)  
Patton awoke with a splitter and a gasp. There was a blurry figure above him. He gasped and scrambled away, wiping his eyes to clear them. 

As his vision became clear again he realized who it was. It was Roman! Roman was safe, thank goodness!

Patton gasped again, this time in delight. He got up and rushed over to Roman, engulfing him in a hug. Roman was okay, he was fine, he was alive. He was alive. 

Roman wrapped his arms around Patton as the fatherly figure dissolved into sobs. Roman held Patton tightly as he cried into his shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, holding each other while the moral side cried out his terror and frustration. 

Patton looked at Roman with red eyes and tear tracks on his face. Roman softly brushed away the last of Patton’s tears. 

“It’s okay Patton,” he said. 

“B-but it’s not! I-I thought you...” Patton couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. He couldn’t say it. 

“You w-were all b-bloody. Th-there was this big s-stab wound on your stomach and you were m-missing an eye. Y-You said... you said I could save you, but I j-just... stood there. I just stood there! I didn’t do anything while you.... while you died!” Patton collapsed into tears once again. Roman’s face was the epitome of shock. 

“Patton...” he whispered, pulling him into a hug again. 

“I-It’s okay Ro,” Patton murmured into his shoulder. “I know now it wasn’t real. I just didn’t know it then. I really thought I lost you. Not to mention the others...”

“What did you see with the others? If you can tell me that is! I’m so sorry, that was insensitive! You don’t have to tell me!” Roman said. 

“I-It’s okay. I can tell you.” Patton said. “Virgil basically hated me. Intensely. The kind of hate you only see on the internet because people can’t say that to your actual face. He basically told me to go kill myself...”

“Oh Pat,” Roman whispered. 

“No, wait I’m not done. I need to get this out Ro. I need to know that it happened but it’s still not real. I just need to say it.”

“Okay,” Roman said. He understood. He felt the same about what happened to him. 

“Anyway, after Virgil I found Logan. Logan basically just didn’t know me. He was really cold and kind of hateful. He didn’t seem like our Logan ever has. He seemed like... Logic. Like he was nothing but his function. A robot. Not our Logan.”

“But I tried to tell him who I was. Tried to remind him of what we’ve been through together, and what happened. But he just ignored me, and then yelled at me to go away and told me he’s glad he doesn’t know me.” Patton finished his story. 

“That sounds awful Pat!” Roman exclaimed. “Logan would never do something like that to you. You guys are like... best friends. I mean, we really all are. Virgil would never hate you or try to make you feel unimportant. As for me... I will do everything in my power to always stay with you. I would wait for you in every life Patton. We all would.”

Patton sniffles and smiled. “Thanks Ro. I really needed to hear that.”

“Any time Patton. I spoke only the truth.”

They both smiled. 

“Now... I have a bit of a story for you myself.” Roman said solemnly.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, so all advice is welcome! Thanks for reading!


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